My story...Part 2

After that fall of finding the drugs in his truck, like I said, I was very trusting. I've never known an "addict", I had NO clue what all of that entailed, all I knew was that the man I had loved for many years said he would quit and I was ok with that. Fast forward to May of 2009...I was out of town for work. He had mentioned having some of the guys over to play poker (something I wasn't ok with but wasn't willing to fight that battle). He called me that afternoon to say that his mother was going to take our little girl to her mother's house for the night. I said ok. That night, I had trouble with the hotel room that my company had booked for me so as I was aimlessly searching in this packed town for a room I tried calling him. He didn't answer and didn't answer and didn't answer. I was not happy with this situation. I tried again, this time someone answered but you could tell they had not meant to answer it. I heard men talking and I heard someone say "it looks like we got an iPhone"...I went nuts. Of course, I thought the worst, surely he had been robbed or something terrible like that. I immediately called his older brother who assured me that everything was probably fine. In the middle of all of this I had found a hotel room and proceeded to go to sleep. At 2:08 am my phone rang and it was my sister-in-law. Now that is a story all to itself but for now I'll just say that I figured it was a drunk call and decided not to answer. She called right back and I knew something was wrong. She told me to be calm and her next words were "D.....is in jail"...I don't remember much else but crying, throwing things, and wondering what in the world was happening. I managed to find out that he had sold some pot to an undercover cop. Now, remember, I am out of town working all weekend long. I stayed on the phone for a while and finally at around 4:30 got a shower and waited...I found my boss first thing and told him I had to go home. I got into town and went to the jail. I had NO clue what to do, could I see him? When could he get out? How does all this work?!?!?! I walked into the jail and a girl who was in our youth group with us in high school came out, I had no clue she worked there. She got me on the list for a visit later in the day. I went and told my parents and went back to see him. He was a wreck...his first question was "are you going to leave me?" At that point I told him it was way to early to discuss that but the fact I was there, looking at him through the glass was a good step. I was hateful to him during that visit...I wanted him to hurt as bad as I did. He got out the next Monday. He couldn't get out on Saturday because of "who he is" and that began our long process. He no longer had a job, obviously. A week later, neither did I. I was "guilty by association" even though I knew nothing.

My next post, I'll play catch up to present day and begin the purpose of this blog. I want this to be a ministry tool to people like me...I don't think there are many of us out there! I want to be an encouragement to others. I KNOW God has a purpose for all of this and I want Him to be glorified through me. For the past 10 months and especially in the past few weeks all I've heard is "you are such a strong woman"...I don't think I'm strong at all but I KNOW that HE is!!!

My story...Part 1

So, welcome to my blog. I decided to start this blog because I just don't think there are that many "ministries" out there for Christian wives of Christian husbands who also happen to be in jail. I am going to try to tell my story as short as possible, no promises though. I grew up in church. My dad was in the ministry for most of my life. I met D at church, we began dating when I was in the 10th grade and have been together ever since. That makes 14 years that we've been together, also known as half of my life. In high school I was never a part of the "bad crowd", neither was he. His senior year we broke up for a while and in that time, he experimented with drinking. (I didn't have my first alcholic beverage until I was 19) We got back together the summer before he left for college. We went to colleges that were about an hour away from each other. During this time, he began doing things that I didn't approve of and he knew it. I am an avoider...I avoid things, and because I didn't allow him to smoke pot around me, I avoided it. After graduation, we got married. Being the avoider that I am, I never asked about drugs because I just assumed that once the parties were over, so was that. Now, let me say that I had never seen nor smelled pot in my life, much less been around someone who I knew was high. We lived a great life, yes he drank, at times way more than I liked and that was about the only thing we fought about early in our marriage. After 2 and a half years of marriage, we started trying for a baby and finally had M. At that time, he had begun his dream job. About 9 months later, I got my dream job. For the sake of privacy, all I'll add for now is that we live in a small town and his dream job was a very respected one. Life was perfect...or so I thought. In October of 2008, I had to move his truck and quite by accident, as I was turning around in the seat to look out the back glass, the center console opened. I looked in the console and found a little plastic bag with what I knew was pot in it. As I said, I've never seen the stuff but I knew that was it. I had NO clue what to do, remember, I am an avoider. So avoid I did. For about 4 days I was quiet with him and finally he asked what was wrong and I told him what I found. Now, I will also add that at this time, we were active members in our large (for a small town) church, even taught Sunday School. The morning I told him that I found it was a Sunday morning. He fell apart (he is an emotional man). He even went up front to pray with the preacher during the invitation. I remember going over the list of what all he could lose by doing this: his job, his child and me! He said he'd quit. I believed him and never mentioned it again, again, I'm an avoider! I will stop for now and continue the story later.
My hope for this blog is for women who are facing or are in similar situations know that they can have peace! I pray that I can show how God is using this storm in my life through this blog. Also, I pray that if there are any women out there in my shoes wondering how they will make it, that we can encourage one another.